Hi there!

Deedee passes by

Long ago I worked as a contractor for a government agency. It was tremendous fun. The business processes were super interesting, there was a bunch of premier league professionals to work with and my role was the most fun of all of them. For the first half-year or so I went to work bouncing of energy. Something was wrong in the organization, however.

No project actually got finished.

Well, our project would be different!
Grains of sand appeared in our machinery.
Ours would finish!
Marshes riddled with dragons appeared on our path.
Successfully!
We stepped into an organizational bear trap.
We really would be different!
Project members were discredited got magically replaced.

This is the modus operandi of many projects, so we were not fazed by any of this. However, something differing was going on here. The powers that be in the organization did want the project to exist, but they didn’t want the project to deliver.

It took some months before this dawned on me. During these months I often dealt with my frustration by going  out on my own during lunch breaks to walk. I would listen to new albums, and take pictures of stuff in the neighborhood.

This is one such a picture. You see that, despite the blazing sun, the subject is a bit gloomy. Black and grey. An infinite, but inaccessible tunnel. Unkempt weed on the ground. To my surprise, after releasing the shutter the picture had become a lot happier. A blond girl on a blue bike with the summer in her head had waltzed in like Deedee in Dexter’s lab. “Hi there! Look outside,” she appeared to say “the sun is shining. Enjoy life! Hey, what’s this button do?”

Not long after this I pushed the button. I left the agency for a job that did fulfill my urge to create. The project stopped a year later. Without having delivered anything.